Review-Corbin’s Captive

Erotica should not be boring.

This isn’t the worst book I’ve read.

But since this is not Emma Paul’s first book I expected a more polished, professional, sophisticated book. What I found was a simplistic plot,  one dimensional, badly drawn characters, and weak writing.

The plot is basically (pouty) girl meets (weak ass)boy, they have (unfortunately not) steamy sex, boy kidnaps girl, they flee from his cruel uncaring father, her evil, lecherous fiancé, and the law (kidnapping and theft).

Meet our hero, Corbin, drug addict and thief. He is rationalizing his way through life using his cold father and resentful, morally bankrupt, unwilling late mate as scapegoats for his own poor choices.

Meet our heroine, Yani, when she meets and hates her betrothed, the villainous Prince Gor (hello, John Norman), instead of running far, far away she runs to the nearest sex and booze club looking for a night of (unfortunately not) steamy sex. Not a candidate for Mensa, our Yani.

The book teems with a lack of good sex, good characterization, good tension, and good writing, because of a lack of skill on the part of the author. Ms Paul would greatly benefit from going back to school and applying herself to learning the basics of her craft.

A few examples of Ms Paul’s (lack of) ability:

He had stopped justifying his addiction long ago. At the same time, he needed something, someone to blame for his steady demise. Not too confusing, right? And demise might not be, oh what the hell, plenty more where that came from.

The attack two years ago on the East Commune only delved him deeper into his own private hell. I have a private hell, it’s filled with people who don’t know what they’re writing.

Planet Azui looked like a debauchery of sexual depravity. Synonym, look it up.

Shear, sheer-there is a difference.

The gorgeous, circular shaped, golden building, betrayed the size of The Mistress’s home. Besides the blatant comma abuse, I’m not sure betrayed is the word Paul intended to use. Betrayed, belied, I don’t know but I should.

Dinner with the Azurians was a revelation. Yani stared at the ravishment of the Alturian roast beast… It’s just wrong that the image of the Grinch pops into my mind but even he, before his heart grew three sizes, would stop short of ravishing the roast.

Lose, loose-once again, there is a difference.

“Good sweet, see you do remember, don’t you” This just makes me wanna cry.

Taut, taught-again, there is a difference.

Corbin moaned loudly, tears filled the backs of his eyes. Really icky mental image there.

…stuffed as much of his ridged length as he could, deep inside her gripping sleeve. Not sure if Paul wanted ridged or rigid, not sure why there is a comma in the middle, not sure I ever knew I could giggle and feel nauseated at the same time. Gripping sleeve?

Yani smiled contently. Go ahead, find that in a dictionary, I dare you.

It distressed him that even the Sh’kra Dominant could no longer ease his veracious addictions. Truthfully?

The sensation turned to wicked transgression. Explain this.

“My father could care less about what I needed.” I could not care less.

…small inlays that contained edible insects and roots. No, no, I don’t think so.

In the end Yani proves to be a Tammy Wynette kinda girl and Corbin is Redeemed by the Power of Love. The ending, stuffed with clichés.

It’s not a truly terrible book but it sure isn’t a good one.

Corbin's Captive (Galactic Breeders, #2)

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