My Perfect Nose–for Shelley

Apologies to Emily.

 

A single fanpoodle commented

upon my one star review.

He was offended by my snarky prose;

he offended me too

with the words he chose.

He was a fan or family of

the hack whose book I chose

a sad creature who could not spell

and grew hair between his toes.

Why is it I never get

one perfect Johnny Depp,

do you suppose?

No, it’s always some sad troo

who makes me snort milk

out of my perfect nose.