Soap Opera Preview

Unless I fall asleep watch this space tonight for some information both sides of war might find interesting. I’m not into games, especially when both of the major assholes have such a bad aim. I’m not willing to see who is thrown under the next bus, I’m going to be driving the next bus.

I love public transportation.

Don’t Take My Word For It

Just don’t.  I think we’ve all gotten a little lazy and the whole Lauren Howard/Pippa  mess proved it. Everywhere I look there’s another blog about the horrendous bullying Lauren suffered on GoodReads.  Except she didn’t. What did happen got lost in the hysteria, the almost religious fervor of those who preached the gospel of Evil Bullies on GoodReads.

And very, very few looked beyond the accusations, the frenzy on Twitter, the biased journalism. It must be true, it’s everywhere. Except it wasn’t. And still people are talking about the young author bullied on GoodReads.  Why? Why didn’t they all do a little more research before taking to the web? I think it’s because we want a quick result and we are lazy, it’s just so much easier to let someone else hand us the “facts”, the story.

Stop that. Stop taking the word of some anonymous blogger or poster on a forum. Start looking.  Start with me. I will tell you that this is the truth as I find it, as I see it but don’t take my word alone. if I use a quote, google it, if I add a link, read it. If you can’t find something, ask me. Look for other sources, find hard data, find screenshots. Find everything you can and then make your decision.

Find the truth.  Don’t take my word for it and, please, don’t take anyone else’s either.

If You Shut Up Truth

It seems the only person over Lauren Howard’s PMS is Lauren Howard. Too bad she’s so bored by all this that she won’t own up to the mess she has created.

GoodReads has a group, Mysteries & Crime Thrillers, it is a sizable group having 8,800 members yesterday. But today? Down to 4,000 and dwindling. Edit: It seems I mixed up the number of members with the other mystery group.  So while I know of three people who were admitted then kicked out I am now not certain how many members have been blocked.

What happened you ask, well it seems the moderators of the group and a few of their friends have decided that if you don’t agree that Lauren Howard’s ‘reactions have been thoughtful, considered, and gentle, and her behaviour has been faultless” then they will at the least delete your opposing post and perhaps delete you from the group.

Indeed, one member is using the lists off that site to block people who will probably never even try to join, She admits that if she doesn’t approve of your shelves, your reviewing style, groups you belong to, or your language then she will block you.

Remember the description? “Win your next book! Mysteries, Cozies, Detective Fiction, Courtroom Drama, Romantic Suspense, Thrillers, Action Adventure.  Pick the next book we read and win its cover price.  Enter other challenges where we buy the next book you read if you win. Pick up free giveaways from the big publishers and top authors.
    Literary news, Films, the Theatre, the Arts, Gossip, Free Fiction & Mystery Podcasts…  Everything that entertains.  We even have an Agony Aunt to support our members.  Enjoy all things literary and never miss a thing again.
http://www.facebook.com/mysteriescrim…(less)    

category

Books & Literature -> Mystery & Thrillers      

tags

adventure, bookclub, cozy-mysteries, crime, fiction, fun, mystery, reading, romantic-suspense, and thriller      

website

http://www.facebook.com/mysteriescrim…        

group type

          This is a public group. Anyone can join and invite others to join.”

Did you see anything about worshipping at the feet of someone who has walked away from the mess she created? No? Neither did I.

Here’s the rules:

You have to love reading them.
Please put your thoughts down with reasonable grammar (not deliberate text speak) though the writing need not be perfect.
Use decent language; no swear words please.  No sexually explicit posts please though adult books/romances can be discussed normally.
Personal attacks on posters will not be allowed.  Be nice.  :^) 
Nasties’ posts will be deleted and the user removed by an automatic site cleaning program.

Still no mention of Lauren. So this is an arbitrary decision on the part of the mods. And this is wrong and this is bullying. A mod can have all the opinions he or she wants but when you impose them on an entire membership and you ignore the group rules to do so you are a bully, no, you are a dictator.

You are there to enforce the rules even on yourself, you are there to encourage growth and participation not stifle free speech and make your members too afraid to disagree, you serve your group, your group does not serve you.

If you want a group where everyone meets your personal criteria, then form one. You don’t take a group with a specific stated purpose and gut it for your personal pleasure. You want to block certain people from joining? Go ahead, if it’s your own private group that is fine but your group is public and you are undertaking a mass blocking of the public because you know that they will disagree with you. Let me assure you that none of us on that list wants to be in any group with the likes of you , we have standards, we prefer friends to servants.

It must be hell to be so scared of a different opinion that you will engage in actions that make most people back away from you in disgust.

If you shut up truth and bury it under  the ground, it will but grow, and gather to itself such explosive power that the day it bursts through it will blow up everything in its way.-Emile Zola

It’s a beautiful quote, isn’t it? There you are burying the truth of Lauren’s actions for some reason I can’t begin to understand, better to face the truth than to try to hide it because it scares you or it doesn’t suit your goals. You are only delaying a possibly painful, maybe humiliating, and definitely messy situation in your probably not too distant future.

You have buried the truth but it’s growing, 10…9…8…

Jill Haldeman’s PSA (and a Lauren update)

In my blog, How Very Special, My Dear, I gave a mention to Jill Haldeman and her-unique- marketing technique. It seems that her PSA has disappeared! And she was so proud of it. Fortunately I have a copy so you all can marvel at her business acumen and some pretty, um, bad writing.

Public Service Announcement: Trolls Behaving Badly, by Jill Haldeman, Aug 20, 2013
[Trolls Behaving Badly Here today at TBB – we feature a great an utter honor… to present – OUR FIRST PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT!   Ok so TBB doesn’t exist, and this really isn’t a PSA.  Trolls Behaving Badly, really.. behaving badly. Seriously you’re resorting AGAIN you people, to using images off the internet to prove your point.  First it’s the authors who are shit, next it’s ME IN THE SPOTLIGHT OMG OMG OMG I DESERVE AN AWARD! I think what people don’t realize in this is that there are COMPLETE MORONS who don’t get what’s going on in the world.  I’m an idiot, and i’m an retard – but you don’t have to assume i’m bashing every other disabled person in the world.. COME ON PEOPLE. Ok, sure if i said it i said it, but you know what i really meant was “Holy shit these trolls are stupid, battling them with bats is the best option.” – but that’s Troll abuse ins’t it?  BBA seems to be the Encyclopaedia Dramatica of the Authors Realm. you step into the pot, they sink their teeth in. Except the sad part is, i wanted to be on EA.  Really i did – that’s like the ultimate wapanese socailite’s dream! What else can a girl want in life other than to be plastered on a site wearing all my nerd gear and proudly be ripped from limb to limb?  – Except i’m
Beware of trolls actually being sarcastic. Oh for fucks sakes lol, look at what we have here – GRAPHIC PROOF that i’m an idiot. Come on you think i need proof?  I’m writing in a genre that’s FAR dead to the world.  Vampires, Wizards and Erotica are popular – and i’m writing about Aliens who knock people up and of course Guys who were made out of girls.  Ok so that’s not REALLY THE SYNOPSIS of my whole series, just the inside jokes me and my friends do.
But this is a PSA for TBB of the BBA isn’t it? So i can act like a total moron and hope you all catch me as I fall from grace? …. REALLY? I CAN? *BATS EYELIDS* What KIND of simple minded person do you all take me for? LOL.  They did their homework, they found funny pictures – and the funny thing is, that’s a photo of me in MAY.  May, people – it’s August.  I change my profile photo like every two weeks just to piss people off. Mainly jokingly my mom, because i’ll do stupid faces and hope she wonders what’s wrong with me.  BBA claims i’m an asshat, a fucktard if you will… but what kind of psycho asshat tries to come back as a troll right back at them? I’m not going to pray into their hands and go “IMMA SUE YOU” because frankly, in a court of law – they’d laugh at the both of us. You can keep your blog honey, i’ll be laughing all the way to the bank with the next stupid thing you catch me on.  BBA is basically the NATIONAL ENQUIRER for people who have nothing better than to prey on Q list celebrities (Aka jokingly calling indie authors celebs in the first place LOL).  It’s like Arama They Didn’t on LJ, if you troll into their hands they do it right back. Now can i have my post on ED?  REALLY? REALLY?  You can check the post out here: http://bbawhisperer.blogspot.co.nz/20…  In it’s FULL GLORY. I have to thank Kathryn Middleton, Graduate of Roseville HS 1988, for finding this for me and apologize because she too is being attacked for no reason in this.  Poor lady, ugh – i hate when innocent people get thrown in to the den of trolls.  I’m at least screwed up enough to have said something stupid enough to be taken out of context. I’ve been on the internet. Trolls, you feed em’ – or don’t .  I’m sure i’m feeding BBA or Badly Behaving Authors FAR more than i should – but i’m glad to take the limelight away from them for once. So stop the Trolls Behaving Badly TODAY!  

There now, wasn’t that fun? You all are going to rush right out and not buy her books, right? Good.

Now let’s have a Lauren Howard/Lauren Pippa update, she’s back on GoodReads (that horrible place!) asking for help with her book. Here’s the best part:

“I’ve been told that the book can’t be deleted so I just want to change the cover so that my name can alter. Privacy reasons etc. I was going to use a pen name anyway, wish I had have done now! Someone could clear all the ratings (also asked customer service for this but again – they declined) and I wouldn’t mind.

Also, I don’t think you’re evil! I just lost my temper a few days ago, I blame it on PMS in all honesty haha. Honestly, I’m just as pissed off as you guys that people took things and blew them WAY, WAAAAY out of proportion. (i.e. that stupid Salon article that is journalism at it’s damn finest, twisted words and altered “quotes”). I perceived shelves as threats, others didn’t. I was then upset because librarians wouldn’t help me out. It’s all such a fucking mess that I’m trying to straighten out now.

I am sorry for all the mess it’s called. For everyone involved. I’m by no means a malicious person, I’m sorry for things I’ve done wrong and I am BEYOND sorry for the disgusting words of some of my “supporters.” I never expected this to reach out so far. I really hope you don’t hold it all against me because I honestly wish no one anything but blessings and positivity.

BACK TO THE POINT, GR have already told me I can change my profile name so hopefully that isn’t reverted back.

My book doesn’t have an ISBN or anything so hopefully someone can help me out with changing my cover! :)”    

Bless her heart! It was just PMS, you all know how crazy it makes us, we just can’t be held accountable for what happens when we have it. First she trivializes rape and now this. She keeps on like this and she’ll be every right wing, ultra conservative, old white guy Republican’s pinup girl. Then there is this. Isn’t it uplifting?

The Utter Boredom of Lauren Howard

” I want to regain some normality, that’s all. So bored of everything now. Never expected/wanted this. Hope you understand”– Lauren Howard after a long, hard day of lying.

Poor Lauren, it seems that things are getting out of control. ” I don’t want to spend any more of my time on this. I just want to get back to some normality and be smiling again.” So do a lot of other people, Lauren, but you aren’t thinking about them, are you? ” Wishing everyone nothing but the best. Truly. What can I say, I’m young and stupid :)” Let’s just leave out the young and go with the stupid.

I’m sorry but you’re not going to get everyone to just drop it and move on. You made some serious allegations. You talked about rape, sodomy, and death threats and how you were scared and now you’re just BORED? Wow. Just wow. “I didn’t ask for this attention and I don’t want anymore negativity upsetting me.” But it’s okay to lie and exaggerate and focus negative attention on other people. As long as you’re not upset by it.

“I can accept that I’ve made some mistakes during this situation (ever commenting on Goodreads for example and not asking friends to delete their own abusive comments – which, by the way, I didn’t know about until I read an article just now) and I accept these mistakes. I apologize for them. From the bottom of my heart, I am sorry. ” Honey, if you’re going to lie, learn to do it so it’s harder to disprove. You knew about both the blender comment and the go hang yourself comment this morning. On GoodReads. In the comments of a rating of your book.

And I posted both your disclaimer of responsibility for your friend’s post and the post where you claimed to be “horrified” by one of your defenders telling someone to hang herself. Lauren, how can you possibly think I, or any one else, will accept your “apology” when you are still lying?

” I have done absolutely NOTHING wrong. And I am tired of all of this already.” Then, Lauren. let’s see some proof of all those threats, you know, then ones you’re bored of now. You lied, you lied, you lied. And you are still lying.

You want to get past this? Stop lying. Own up to your mistakes. Apologize publicly and specifically. You publicly harmed a great many people and GoodReads.  You can’t send a smiley face and claim youth and stupidity and go blithely on thinking only about yourself. You want to talk to me privately? Sure. Right after that public apology.

I know you will understand. Right now I have to think of myself and my health.

What Passive Guy Won’t Post

I was naïve enough to think that passive Guy would welcome comments from the other side of the whole Lauren Is Getting All The Attention She Wants Fracas but my comments are “awaiting moderation” while other comments sympathizing with poor, sweet Lauren are posted.  What did I post that needs this much moderation?

“You are a grown man spouting off? Really? Grow up! The book isn’t out and you are giving fake ratings? It’s really pathetic. If you have nothing better to do may I suggest you go put your hand in a blender!”- Victoria, friend of Lauren.

“I will not be a part of a site where it is acceptable to wish rape, sodomy, abuse and death on someone” Lauren from her blog.

But she will be friends with someone who does.

Wondering how much attention she needs before she decides to go ahead and publish?  I have to admire her rather unusual marketing tactic. Certainly not as unsavory as insulting the disabled, but maybe just a tad too-overwrought.

How Very Special, My Dear

“Many people don’t seem to agree with my decision. I NEED people to understand that I am not “letting them win” by making this decision. I need to think about MYSELF; my health, welfare, attitude and mental state. My decision, though you may not agree, is best for ME.”  Lauren Howard, latest snowflake in the drift..

Ah, SPAs, gotta love’em. No, really, most are out there working hard and hoping for a little recognition for their hard work and imagination. Then there is the vocal minority. I’m sure that they feel loved and admired when their friends and fans rush to defend and sympathise and isn’t that just what writing is all about to them?

So let’s talk Lauren, who has decided against publishing her book. Good. Because if this snowflake can’t handle the comments before her book is published, I shudder to think what would have happened when she got her first critical review. Because everybody who publishes gets critical reviews sooner or later.

As I understand it someone rated Lauren’s not-yet-published book 2 stars on GoodReads and the whining commenced. Evidently Lauren had not familiarized  herself with how GoodReads works before she started whining. Sigh. Here’s some good advice:  Know the rules before you whine. Start from a place of power or get your butt handed to you.

Now Lauren and her fanpoodles-fanpoodles, now this is a great word but it is such a disservice to poodles who are very intelligent dogs-have sobbed all over the internet about how terrible the people are on GoodReads and how very, very badly poor, dear Lauren was treated. Okay, let’s  explore that.

Well now, Lauren’s book hit a few shelves with, shall we say, questionable labels but those labels weren’t applied to Lauren. No one said to Lauren she should be raped or sodomized. Lauren’s book didn’t fare so well. Lauren needs to learn she is not her book. Rookie mistake? No, more like drama queen needs drama.

After that first 2 star rating our little Lauren posted a question about low rating spam/troll accounts,   calling the GR member in question a “low rating spam troll account”.

“…but at least I have a shred of decency and respect for other people.” Um, yeah, calling someone a low rating spam troll is totally respectful.

“Uh oh, sounds like a speshul snowflake is melting?” A question asked after Lauren’s posts about “low rating spam troll” came to light.

“You are a grown man spouting off? Really? Grow up! The book isn’t out and you are giving fake ratings?
It’s really pathetic. If you have nothing better to do may I suggest you go put your hand in a blender!”- Victoria, friend of Lauren.

Once the rating system was explained to me (ie. users rating to express anticipation) as a new user of Goodreads, I was fine just to move on. I am no “speshul snowflake” and don’t appreciate your sickening sarcasm. What you have done by being so vindictive is truly low, and I pity you for being such a heartless human being that you would deliberately try to hurt someone who was just confused and trying to understand.-Lauren. Um-hmm. So your calling someone a troll and your friend telling the reviewer to stick his hand in a blender are just, what, all intended in good, clean fun? Hey, we all know that when you called someone a spam troll you did it with all the love in your heart, right? And that thing about the blender that you tried to ignore, Victoria was just trying to get the reviewer to commit a little harmless self-dismemberment, nothing for anyone to get upset about. Nothing as low and vindictive and heartless as calling you, Lauren, a speshul snowflake. Call the police, let’s get this low-life off the net.

“I can’t control what my friends say,…”- Lauren, when asked why she wasn’t addressing her friends hands in the blender post. Wrong, Lauren, you can control what your friends say. You tell them to delete the comment, apologise, and maybe you stop being their friend because if having your book shelved under illegal acts with a lawn ornament horrifies you so much then having somebody who resorts to posting suggestions to strangers to physically harm themselves as your friend should make you vomit.

“go hang yourself you dirty piece of shit” – another defender of poor put upon Lauren.

I was horrified to hear someone had told someone to hang themselves. I do not know this individual and I do NOT approve of this behaviour.– Lauren. But not horrified enough to actually chastise the poster.

“I am quite simply terrified, and do not know what to do. But absolutely NO ONE is willing to help me. No one will remove this book even though it’s not even a real book and it’s damaging my life right now. No one will let me remove the cover image. No one will let me change the name so people can stop finding me. No one will let me do anything and I don’t know who to turn to because no librarians will help me.

I read in the rules that if books were not going to be published, they can be deleted EVEN if there are ARCs. I read that librarians are supposed to help, but I’m receiving no help. I am sat in tears as I write this because I cannot DO THIS anymore.

I can hold my hands up and say this entire thing was a mistake and I NEED someone to help me and I NEED someone to erase this listing. According to the rules, it is eligible for deletion, even with the ARCs and reviews!

PLEASE, I am begging you… someone, ANYONE… please help me out here. “- Lauren. You see, things didn’t go quite the way she planned when she wanted to take her book and Flounce. First off, there are ARCs out there so her book can be added at any time, so no, it wasn’t removed. And the GRs staff didn’t respond immediately, because they don’t have anything else to take care of.

Librarians are not GRs staff. I’ve said this before. They are simply GRs members who have special privileges that can be revoked if they do not follow the rules. What Lauren was requesting is not something the librarians can do and if they try, they can get librarian status revoked.

“It’s disgusting that Goodreads won’t do anything about the bullying and fake reviews. Their responses are rubbish and generic.”– Emma Poulloura. Soon to be former GoodReads librarian that Lauren got to break the rules for her. Lauren is so happy to find someone to grant her wish right now that it doesn’t matter if Emma is violating the rules, Lauren first, rules a distant second.

Lauren has taken her book and left to create as much attention for herself as possible. That she isn’t quite telling the truth about her own behavior is no surprise and it won’t surprise me if Lauren and her book return. Because you know that the attention given to her right now will wane and Lauren really, really needs it.

Before posting I must make special mention of Jill Haldeman, an author who seems to think that insulting the disabled and thereby getting yourself labeled a BBA is a good marketing technique. I think that’s what she’s saying, to tell you the truth,  it’s a bit chaotic so  I might have got it wrong but, remember, this is from someone who fondly believes she’s an author. Let’s all show her neither is true.

The “Whorror” Of It All

I cannot believe I have to do this. It’s probably a hopeless endeavor but I’ll give it a try.

There is a world of difference between “whore” and “attention whore”. A whore is someone, male or female, who exchanges sexual acts for money. Generally also considered not in the top drawer of the sex-for-money profession.

An attention whore is someone, again male or female, that does rather dubious or annoying things to garner attention. This could be things like showing up at every large social event in town, from building dedications and bridge openings to funerals. The attention whore will be front and center making sure you don’t overlook them. Online they will post and tweet about everything they can turning it into something all about them. They tend to chose not the right side of an argument but the most sensational.

One is trying to make a living in a dangerous, go nowhere job, the other is a rather insecure, self absorbed creature who annoys.

Now do you understand?

What You Don’t Know, Nobody Will Tell You

Rules are important. A clearly defined set of rules gives you a sense of security and tells you the behavior expected from both those who follow the rules and those who enforce them.

If there are no rules, no defined code of conduct, insecurity and fear set in. Some will push hard with extreme behavior, some will hunker down and wait to see what happens, some will ask permission to breathe. We are wired to fear the unknown though we all react differently to that fear.

When we ask for direction, when we ask for clarification, we don’t want obfuscation, we don’t want to be told you already explained this. We are smart, if we have to ask then you haven’t explained it very well, you haven’t given clear directions.

We do understand your dilemma, if you give us rules then they have to apply to everybody, including you. Where’s the fun in that?

People want clear rules, for themselves and for you.  So sorry, but this time I’m  afraid you’re going to have to answer.

Monsters

Remember when you were a child and you were certain that there was something frightening under the bed or in the closet? Mom turned out the lights and you knew, you knew, that just beyond the edge of the night light something was waiting to creep out. You weren’t sure what it looked like or what it would do but you knew it wasn’t anything good.

Today something monstrous crawled out of the closet, out from under the bed. And it did something unspeakable. Or tried to. The monster tried to take away someone’s voice, tried to censure someone for their actions. The monster decided that it had that right and that no one would stop it.  It was half right-nobody stopped it.

It doesn’t take much to become a monster, I guess, you just need to make sure that there is no one who will stand in your way, no one who will say, “Stop”, no one who has the slightest desire to stand up for what’s right and not for what’s comfortable or convenient. Monsters need people who will give them what they need to grow more monstrous and this monster found a sizable group.

Now they will huddle around the light and glance uneasily over their shoulders looking into the darkness, wondering when the monster will come for them. And even as they do this they won’t understand that they had created the monster, they thought of it as a kindly, benevolent protector, But a protector does not summarily take away, does not turn someone out, does not make those it protects hesitant and anxious and does not refuse to explain its actions. A protector does not become that which it defends against.

Meanwhile, the person the monster turned away didn’t notice. She was busy with other things and really hadn’t paid much attention to the monster. She never thought much of the monster to begin with. She had never thought of it as a monster, more like a yippy small dog who keeps biting your ankles.

She joined her friends for a drink and they looked at all the people huddled around the light, scared to move for fear of displeasing the monster, people willing to give up just about anything so the monster wouldn’t turn them away. They wondered why the people would surrender their power to create a monster and why they refused to see the fangs.

A monster isn’t always the ugly, big-fanged, flesh-devouring creature of our nightmares, it isn’t the nebulous creature of our childhood, sometimes it is the day you find yourself wondering if you need to ask permission to post a comment, then you are face to face with a monster.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 Barbara Mertz/Barbara Michaels/Elizabeth Peters

09/29/27-08/08/13

“May flights of angels sing thee to thy rest”