Suzanne Dome, Total Idiot

Authors- some of them just don’t quite get it and maybe never will. Pity them.  Let’s talk about Suzanne Dumb, uh, Dome. Here she is giving us all the benefit of her expertise . Almost 17 minutes of it, my, my, she is an expert on something, isn’t she?

First of all, Suzanne, clean off your counters. All that stuff in the background is distracting.

Whoa! Whose thoughts actually matter? Oh, Suzanne, Suzanne, Suzanne, don’t do it.  Don’t say it. Yes, it is your opinion and you can have it and say it, you just have to be able to accept what happens next. Something you have demonstrated that you can’t do.

According to Suzanne a review is a casual statement of opinion, can sometimes be educated and make references to other things. Like what things? She doesn’t say. A review is usually a not well formatted, uneducated thing. Of course it is. Suuure. And poor, widdle Suzie has no idea why so many people are upset by her vid?

A good review can help your sales. Not necessarily, Suzie, but you just cling to that belief. And a bad review? Well, according to our widdle Suzie you gotta research that reviewer and if they are a professional, and I guess only then and what is a professional Suzie hasn’t told us her expert opinion on that, then you need to look at your writing.

A critique, wait, no more on reviewing? Is that it? Maybe. Anyway, a critique is an educated thing, too. Suzie learned to do these in college. Too bad common sense, good judgment, and the ability to win friends and influence people were not on the curriculum.

Lord help us, especially Suzie, who now manages to dig a deeper hole and we are at 3:30. She keeps using the word educated like it’s something that most of us lack. Everything is educated. Except those reviewers that didn’t like her book(s). Forget them.

Okay, now Suzie is saying that if the reviewer talks about one specific, or “random” accoeding to Suzie, piece of the book to focus on then they either didn’t read the book or didn’t understand it. Did I get that right, Suzie? Is it because they don’t have enough education?

And at 4:12 Suzie does just exactly what most of us uneducated people know not to do. She states that sometimes reviewers miss the point of the book because they are not smart enough. This is a problem with the “coddled” generations, the ones younger than her. Thank God, I am definitely older (and much wiser) than Suzie. I was beginning to take offense by what she was saying but now that I know it’s only the younger reviewers I can relax.

Coddled sissies who got too much attention when you did stuff that wasn’t even that great, listen up.

Now Suzie is telling us who is an “educated” reviewer. It is not the “stay at home mom” blogger, evidently those bloggers are not “educated” enough to be a help.

At this point I have to wonder, is “educated” a euphemism for all those who give her books a four or five star review? It sure sounds like that because 6:32 into this and Dumb Dome hasn’t even alluded to the unhelpful five star reviews.

Paid reviewers are bad, reviewers who concentrate on one thing are bad. Reviewers who point out all your mistakes so you can fix them are free editors good. Got that, stay at home moms? Disregard the uneducated rest.

Her definition of a good reviewer, and she knows this because she attended the workshops, includes the reviewer reading or even rereading the book, is not someone looking for something to fill their spare time in the summer months, not reviewing out of your genre preference because reading out of your preference biases you against the book, should have a professional writing background, and now I need a new sentence.  Or paragraph.

Because according to our widdle educated Suzie if you are getting four and five star reviews and suddenly a three pops up it’s because they don’t like your genre or you don’t write in a fashion they can understand. They don’t understand cause they are uneducated.

Now are widdle Suzie is not going to let reviews get in her way, no, not at all. That’s why this vid is 16:54 minutes long. She is a good writer, she knows this. She is a bitch. Bless your heart, SuzieQ, you is a Chihuahua.

I am a bitch.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is my reaction to your  whiiiiining.

 

Ignore any review that isn’t well written, guess why. They be stupid. These reviews happen to her friends.

Uh-huh.

You get a poor review, research that reviewer, if they are “professional” and “educated” maybe you can use them in the future but most of your reviews will probably come from your average reader. You know, the ones who pay for your books but aren’t educated enough to be of use, just ignore them.

And they will ignore you.  “Take it seriously when it comes out of an educated mouth.” Crap on a cracker, SuzieQ, do you hear anything that is coming out of your dumbass mouth?

If you are going to read Suzie’s books, and how many are by now, then she proceeds to tell you she wants a certain type of critique. This is her educated definition of a good reviewer. No other reviewers need apply. Go away, Suzie doesn’t need you. Just buy her books and keep quiet. My God, what if her friends found out uneducated, average readers bought and read her books.  The humiliation!

Don’t be an asshole, make sure your review is specific so the writer knows what the problems are.  Help the poor writer for free. Buy the book, critique the book, edit the book. Don’t bash it. Fix it. It’s your responsibility as a reviewer. Critique don’t review.

Suzie is educated and she can tell which reviews/critiques are worthy. She hopes you will take heed of her educated advice.

Young readers beware of the “bad” review. If you can’t tell the difference or are unsure you can contact Suzie, she knows.

She has been thinking about how she wanted to rant about this since December. I find that part fascinating. She has been thinking since December how she could make herself sound like a total idiot, excuse me, a total educated idiot?

 

Suzie, your head is so far up your ass it’s amazing to me that the crap around your eyes is blue not brown.