Penguins

It’s Penguin Awareness Day.

Brian Bilston

They were sighted off the south-east coast,
drifting in towards the port;
their boat, a snapped-off block of ice,
melting slowly in the warmth.
 
By the docks, a crowd had formed itself;
mob-angry, it looked on.
Placards were thrust. A chant began:
GO BACK TO WHERE YOU’RE FROM.
 
‘They’re just economic migrants,’
declared a spokesman for the right.
‘They’ve come to rob us of our jobs.
It’s as clear as black and white.’
 
‘Tragic,’ said the Home Secretary,
mock-sadness suppressed his smirk.
‘We’d let them stay but here’s the rub –
they have no paperwork.’
 
‘They’ll undermine Our Way of Life!’
The warnings raged on Twitter.
‘They stink of fish.’ ‘They’ll rape your wife.’
‘There’s bombs beneath those flippers.’
 
‘PENGUIN CLAIMS “MY HOME IS MELTING!”’
The Sun printed in disgust.
‘But whose fault is THAT – except THEIR OWN?
What’s that to do with US?’

View original post 24 more words

The Poetry of Public Transportation and Punctuation

I found the most amazing poet on Twitter this morning and have spent some time on his website. Here are two of his amusing poems.

you took the last bus home

you took
the last bus home

i still don’t know
how you got it through the door

but you’re always doing amazing stuff

like the time
when you caught that train

Exclamation Mark!

Mark was his name!
He would shout and proclaim!

Every sentence he wrote
would end just the same!

He would assert! He would blurt!
He would ejaculate and spurt!
Each line was a screamer!
A gasper! A slammer! A shrieker!
A literary loudspeaker!!!

Frankly, it all began to needle and nark!
Why did no one think to question Mark?

His name is Brian Bilston, go check out his poetry laboetry.

My Perfect Nose–for Shelley

Apologies to Emily. Save this on Delicious

 

A single fanpoodle commented

upon my one star review.

He was offended by my snarky prose;

he offended me too

with the words he chose.

He was a fan or family of

the hack whose book I chose

a sad creature who could not spell

and grew hair between his toes.

Why is it I never get

one perfect Johnny Depp,

do you suppose?

No, it’s always some sad troo

who makes me snort milk

out of my perfect nose.