Eat, Drink & Remarry- wherein she just sounds bored

Screenshot (4186)Let’s finish this. So, after 5 whole months without a man in her life Howard stares into the abyss lets a friend give her number to a doctor, but not just any doctor, the chief of cardiothoracic surgery. After some scheduling conflicts and phoning back and forth, they finally have a dinner date.  “It is odd, but understood, that when middle-aged people go out the first time their initial conversation could be titled:  “And what did you major in?””  Words fail.

Howard then gives the good doctor’s back story, widowed once, divorced twice and then writes one of her more outrageous lines. “(I am trying really hard not to get into the subject of women wanting to marry rich surgeons.)” A woman who made damned sure she got more than sufficient compensation from her previous husbands should not try to pretend she didn’t have an eye to the main chance at least twice before.

#4 is not her type which she repeats several times. He is at the top of his profession, very well known, knows a lot of Big Names, and has money- he is exactly her type. After two dinner dates and one opera Howard wonders why he hasn’t made a move. “I found his being in no hurry to take things to the next level quite interesting… and unusual. I knew he wasn’t gay, and from my observations he was too mature, and frankly, too old, at sixty-one, to be playing it cool.” Oh. My. God. Facepalm. Headdesk.

So she toddles off to the West Coast to visit a spa and friends. They exchange emails. A friend asks if she thinks they might be going somewhere and Howard says yes so they go off to order her some fabulous nightgowns.

Then she goes out on a blind date a Cambridge friend had set up for her with Mort Sahl. ? And that was her last date with anyone else. I’m not sure why she went out in the first place, didn’t she just say she thought she and the good doctor had a “spark”?

She returns from the West Coast and things immediately progress into the bedroom even if she doesn’t have her new nightgowns.

She waxes on about how  grateful she was to be mature enough to keep dating him even when he so obviously wasn’t her type. How she was able to look past his surface and see the man inside and how all this was why she would tell those who wrote to her for advice to give that new interest another chance. Really, so wise of her. I remember reading that advice several times- she forgot to mention making sure they had A Name and lots of money but maybe she was protecting her claim.

Anyway more about how perfect is Dr Perfect and he does sound, and probably is, a very nice man. Who fell into a tiger trap.

Howard talks about the difference in love at different stages of life and how love with the doctor was different and good but I had a hard time with this because her writing, her descriptions of life with the doctor seem detached from emotion. They might be a good match and enjoy each other’s company but love? Not seeing it. He seems to appreciate her and she certainly appreciates what he brings to the table but there isn’t any more feeling here than in her writing about #1 and #2.

They met each other’s friends and Howard took him home to meet mom. After about a year together Howard goes back to work for a few years before being fired in a staff change. Then she finally, reluctantly follows in Ann Landers’ footprints and become Dear Prudence, then Dear Margo, from which she retired in 2013.

They have a good life, know a lot of important people, decide to marry before her mother dies, the doctor retires but works on in various advisory capacities for several years, they have some fairly elaborate birthday trips and then stop after their seventieths.

She continues to say in her detached way how wonderful life is and gets in a parting shot at her three previous husbands then talks briefly about aging and how lucky they are to have avoided the more serious physical problems of growing older. The doctor was worth the wait  except that she really didn’t wait, she drifted rather aimlessly through life and now is trying to alter history.

Review to come.

 

Eat, Drink & Remarry- the part where Margo Howard shows herself to be so screwed up the Kathleen Hale looks almost normal

Screenshot (4186)Hello, dear readers, I’m here to finish my thoughts on Margo Howard’s Eat, Drink & Remarry before I post up my review.

So we find Margo by description “newly separated” but I ‘m confused if she meant separated or divorced because I can’t discern the timeline of this event. Anyways, she lands in a new town and calls up an old “bad boy boyfriend” who is still married. Remember when she tried (unsuccessfully) to have an affaire while still attached to #1? Remember her saying she didn’t want to live this way? Pages 50 and 51, go ahead and reread, I’ll wait.

Evidently when you’re  Howard you can try these mistakes again and it’s totally okay. She 51 and seemingly still wants to do whatever she wants, whenever she wants because she is Margo Howard and she can do no wrong unless admitting it will let her gain money or admiration.

Once again I have to ask, did she never read her mother’s column? Never pick up the phone and have a heart to heart?

She calls him B.H. for Borrowed Husband, isn’t that precious? I’m surprised she didn’t just tell us his name because by her own admission she told all her friends about their relationship. I’m really not sure why she started this relationship or kept it for any length of time because her disdain for BH leaps off the page and almost slaps you in the face.

She called his other women cupcakes but I think she believes even now that because she was older and maybe more aware of what the whole situation was she was somehow not a cupcake. She was a cupcake, just one that had sat on the bakery shelf longer.

From page 169 through page 174 Howard wallows in her self-appointed superiority while exposing herself as no better than any other woman in the same situation, maybe even not as good as some of those women because they wouldn’t be trying to convince the reading public that her wrongs were somehow right.

Last line, “I guess the lesson here, beyond the obvious, is not to have an affair with a writer.”

No, that’s not the lesson at all but Howard has spent all of her life learning as little as possible so why would she suddenly grown up and get a clue now?

Um, she spent 6 years with BH. Six. Years. That was longer than either of her first two marriages and she only left the despised BH because he was cheating on her. She had no problem with him cheating with her but she had a definite problem with him cheating on her.

I can’t even.

So onto #4.  “Wherein I discover love among the ruins.” You built those ruins, sweetie. First sentence of chapter 8, “My, time flies when you’re sabotaging yourself.” Yes, it does but you know what, Margo, most people wouldn’t be so proud of it. You didn’t do anything outstanding, even writing about it has been done, and done better, before. I have to say that it took me awhile to figure out the why of this book and here I’ll just say that, nope, you didn’t achieve your goal. I’ll explain in my review.

“Although I accepted dates with different people during BH.’s tenure, I was really just going through the motions.” WTH? She dated but dares to get huffy when he cheats on her? She avoids saying if any of those motions she went through was a bedroom door but by now I’d say it was 50-50.

I was going to tack on #4 here but he deserves a post separate from this, so stopping now.